“Marriage Woes: Why Am I Jealous?”

One of the most common problems that married couples encounter is the occasional bout of jealousy. This has been known to start arguments, cause pain and eventually rip two people apart.

As a part of a married couple, you would know whether you have the tendency to be jealous with reasons that are most often not justified enough.
You and your partner might be having a lot of arguments over this attitude that you have. Instead of being obsessed with it, you can actually channel this negative feeling and know the deeper reason of why you get jealous.

Here are some tips on how you can improve on your marriage by trying to avoid succumbing to jealousy:

1. Get an insight of your inner self.

Ask yourself why you tend to get jealous unreasonably. Does your partner actually show signs that you should not trust him or her?

Trust is the antidote to the traitorous feeling of jealousy. If you trust your partner enough, you should learn not to succumb to the feeling of insecurity or jealousy when your partner tries to befriend a member of the opposite sex.

Ask yourself if it is really worth your time and emotional effort to get jealous for no reason at all.

2. Remember that a small dose of jealousy is actually healthy for a relationship. As long as it does not amount to obsessive proportions, a little jealousy is actually healthy for your marriage. The feeling of being jealous roots from the desire to preserve your relationship. It also boils down to the feeling of possessiveness towards your partner which is the result of your love for each other.

There is nothing wrong with having this feeling because it is man’s natural instinct to protect his ‘territory’. Just make sure that you know how to do it in a manner that will not be hurtful to you or to your partner. After all, your purpose is to protect your partner and preserve your relationship.

If you keep these goals in mind, you can try to not to curb your jealousy and use it in a more positive way to improve your relationship.

3. Track down the root of these feelings. The way that you feel is the outcome of a certain situation. Ask yourself why you have a feeling of jealousy. If this feeling actually comes from an insecurity that you have it could be a feeling of shortcoming, that you are lacking in something. Or it could be a result of a deep-seated doubt that you have in about relationship with your partner.

This can also be caused by fear, or a past hurt that you have carried in to adulthood.

There are a lot of sources and endless possibilities of where this emotion may be coming from.

Try to look within yourself and find out the reason for this. Once you have determined the reason, you will have a better understanding of why you have such feelings and learn to deal with it better.

4. Keep in mind that there are other types of jealousy.

You might be jealous because of the possibility that your partner may cheating on you. It could be that you are jealous of the things that your partner has and you do not.

By going to the root of the problem, you can properly address your feelings.

5. Ask yourself about what this feeling does to your partner.

Jealousy has been known to cause breakups and rifts in a relationship.

Think how you would feel if you were on the receiving end of your partner’s jealousy. How would you feel, and how would you react?
By putting yourself in your partner’s shoes, you would learn that this might give him/her a stifling feeling which might later lead to bigger problems.

6. Have a better sense of self to prevent irrational jealousy.

If the root of your feeling stems from a low self-esteem, try to work on changing your attitude and learn to develop a greater feeling of self-worth.
This would help you curb the irrational tendencies to be jealous and help heal yourself in the process.

7. Finally, you should learn to take risks.

The feeling of jealousy is also caused by a fear of being disappointed and getting hurt in the process.

In love and in life, you should learn to take risks because that is the only way that you can put yourself out there and really get to be with the one you love.

By mulling over these things, you can learn not to succumb to the feeling of jealousy and have a more stable and love-filled married life.