Staying Happily Married

In recent years, the demand for marriage and family therapists, also known as MFTs, has dramatically increased. A Marriage and family therapist (MFT) is a mental health professional, highly trained in the area of bringing a perspective that is family-oriented to health care. Basically, what MFTs do is evaluate as well as treat emotional and mental disorders, including but not limited to behavioral and health issues. Relationship issues are also within an MFT's area of specialty.

MFTs play a crucial role in keeping marriages and families intact. But looking at it in another perspective, MFTs are more support groups rather than problem solvers that can cure marriages and restore family relationships.

Being happily married and staying happily married is not such a hard jigsaw puzzle to put together. It just needs tender loving care and some extra gestures of concern to always keep the fire within the marriage ablaze. Both spouses must always exert extra effort to keep the marriage fresh and interactive. Couples may start the journey to a strong and satisfying married life by avoiding the common pitfalls that haunt marital relationships.

Disagreements and arguments will happen. It is normal in any relationship. Two individuals, no matter how similar or compatible, will at some point clash and get into an argument - be it petty or something more serious. Leaving the issue unresolved or the concerned addressed allows the issues pile up over time and subsequently result in graver situations that are more difficult to resolve or address later on. This scenario is avoidable had the couples been open to the idea that they can get through any problems if they knew the marriage pitfalls and troubles that they should have looked out for.

Couples, either newly married or that have been married to each other for a long time, should understand that they need to communicate. It may sound surprising but recent studies show that communication issues actually top the list of the most important things that couples hope they had focused on before jumping into marriage.

Talk. It is unsafe to assume that a partner knows the others thoughts and needs and vice versa. Ask, and do not assume. Then pay close attention and listen to what is being said. Don't just hear. Acknowledge that what has been said is clearly understood.

Take some time to send your partner a heartfelt thank you. Write a card or send flowers out of the blue to let your partner know that you appreciate him or her. An unexpected phone call would also be a nice gesture. If you are on the receiving end, reciprocate the initiative with the same sincere appreciation. It feels good to know that what you have done is acknowledged. Also, ‘making your partners day’ will give you the same euphoric feeling.

As earlier mentioned, arguing with your spouse is inevitable. But also consider that there is such a thing that is called "fighting fair." Couples can and will fight over anything and everything. So, when a disagreement comes up, just tackle the issue at hand. No matter the disagreement, try to resist bringing up previous issues that may push your partner over the edge. Instead, keep it cool. Take a break, and revisit the discussion when you have a clearer idea of what you really want to say, and then listen to what your spouse has to say. This is the most logical and correct thing to do, don't you think? Fighting fire with fire will just leave both of you tired, wasted, and burnt out.

Why not try to catch your spouse doing something right? It wouldn't hurt so overlook the little foibles of your partner. Why not try to focus on the good and pleasant things that your spouse says or does for you as well as for the family. People will sometimes disappoint us. But then again, it would be unfair not to consider that they will also at one point bring something worthy of being acknowledgement. A little appreciation of each other, and what each other does, will help to improve any relationship especially a marriage. And wouldn't it feel nice to know that your spouse exerts extra effort to put together something good for you without you really knowing?

So, for married couples, when you stumble into these pitfalls, you now know more or less how to handle it. Just keep it up. Hold on. Continue loving, caring, and understanding each other, and watch your marriage improve beyond your imagination.