Self Confidence Online

Self Confidence Online

I'm sure you've all heard stories of the way that people can change when they go online. The otherwise good teenager starts to engage in cyber bullying or the otherwise faithful husband gets into some heated chats with fantasy ladies. The changes that a person experiences when they go online don't have to be negative, though.

Some people simply feel more comfortable when communicating through writing rather than speaking. Sometimes they're shy or easily embarrassed. Sometimes they just prefer the chance to compose their thoughts before exposing them to the world. In other cases, a speech impediment or some other personal issue gets in the way of clearly community when speaking. In all of these examples, writing e-mails, sending instant messages and posting in forums gives them a chance to be a part of the conversations they may excuse themselves from in person.

Chatting and sending instant messages can be a good way to become more comfortable with friends and acquaintances. You can start with small talk and build up to more substantial conversations when you've gained confidence, or you can keep it light and talk about your shared love of heavy metal or Chihuahuas.

Forums and e-mail lists are another way to build self confidence by cultivating groups of friends who share common interests and tastes. You'll naturally have something to talk about, removing one of the nagging doubts that can cause a lack of self confidence in the real world. You can also build confidence by seeing yourself as an expert in a subject when others come to you for advice.

It's possible for computer users to discover skills they never knew they had when they journey into the online world. Some people are known for their talent with web design or graphics while others show amazing skill in playing multi-player online games. Making everyone's favorite forum avatars isn't necessarily a skill that will be rewarded at school or work, but it can lead to feelings of self-confidence nonetheless. In the case of transferable skills like web design, they may eventually lead to even more positive results like finding a new job that capitalizes on these interests.

Friendships, and even romances, that start online frequently carry over into the real world. Some feel that you get to know the "real person" by meeting someone online first without being swayed by matters of appearance. A shy man who feels tongue-tied whenever he comes face to face with a pretty woman can be more confident talking to that woman through e-mail. As his confidence builds, he can eventually work up to meeting that woman in person. If that particular relationship doesn't work out, then he can use this newfound confidence to find his next potential female companion.

Now turning to the internet to build self-confidence isn't healthy if you simply use it as an excuse to retreat from your normal everyday life. It can be much too easy to hide behind a persona you create online. It won't do you any good if you're only able to relate to others when you're acting as "Sheila, Mistress of the Dark" in a chat room. The idea of hiding behind a persona has one positive aspect, though. You can potentially gain self-confidence online by practicing skills that will carry over into the real world. Try on the role of someone who is confident, and eventually you may find yourself no longer pretending.



It's important not to take things too far, though. Unfortunately, some people view the internet as a free-for-all, where it doesn't matter what they do and who they harm in the process. Someone who would never start an argument at work will engage in a bitter flame war on a message board. The temporary confidence that may come from doing something daring will eventually turn into feelings of self-loathing if you engage in activities that go against your morals or beliefs.

While there are possible drawbacks, if you're feeling uncomfortable in face-to-face social situations, try going online. You have the potential to gain valuable communication skills and a confidence that will follow you into the real world.