Self Confident Men

Self-Confident Men

Men seem confident almost by nature, in fact, confidence ranks among the top features women find attractive, but in reality, confidence and self-confidence may not have much in common.

Confident men have the attitude that they will reach their goals. They don't let on whether they really believe that or not.

Men seem particularly concerned with filling needs. It's a strange way to put it, as women are often hailed as the "care takers" but men want to pay the bills, they want to be seen as dependable, and eventually, most men want partners who feel they take care of them well. Men like hearing "thank you" much more than "why didn't you?"

Self-confident men know they are taking care of themselves, and anyone else who depends on them, including their cohorts at work. They recognize what they do well, they can identify areas where they need improvement and commit to making realistic progress.

Because men feel most comfortable when they are filling a need, a man with low self-confidence should look at the areas in his life where he doesn't have that feeling.

Let's take a look at Ted. Last year he lost his job at a factory where he'd worked for 17 years. He didn't hobnob with the bosses so he never made it off the line, but he always worked hard and always showed up on time. Ted's unemployment ran out two months ago, and his wife has been working to support the family ever since. Things around home don't feel as stable as they once did.

What can Ted do to improve his situation, and enjoy his life that much more?

* Recognize what he does do right. He works hard at work. He can work hard at home, and feel good about making life easier on his wife. He is filling a need for her, even if it isn't as traditional as they are used to.

Ted's also good at keeping a schedule, so handling the kids' activities won't be a hassle. He's worked on an assembly line, so preparing lunches, book bags, and setting out clothes for the next day won't be difficult either. He can put his talents to work at home, and during his job search.

* Recognize areas where he needs improvement. Ted was one of 50 people who lost their jobs, but others stayed - those who made friends and moved up in the world. Ted knows he needs to work on being more personable to build his next career. That doesn't do much for him though until he has a new job.

* Focus on realistic goals. Ted's real problem now is finding work. Every application he's turned in has gone unnoticed, or rejected as "overqualified." Ted needs help looking for a job.

The easiest way to find that help is by talking with someone at the unemployment center. That is a step Ted can take today to make him feel active, and to give him a positive return on his investment. That will increase his self-confidence.

* Keep up the good work. Whether the agency points him to further resources or helps place him with a company, it's important that Ted doesn't stop after his initial success. He needs to follow through and check up on those resources. He needs to show up to his job and do the best that he can. Now he has a chance to be more personable and be a more important asset to his new company.

There's a lot of truth in the saying, "Good enough is never good enough." Self-confident men know they need to keep improving themselves to be as successful as they can be. One obstacle crossed doesn't mean your struggles are over. It means your struggles are over for now.

Men who are ready for the challenge and believe in themselves meet those obstacles head on. With every victory they become more self-confident, so that they enjoy themselves and their success ... and no one worries whether they are faking it or not.