Setting Realistic Goals

Setting Realistic Goals

Every once in awhile you'll find a person who is completely satisfied with his situation. He likes his job, he has good friends, and a warm family. Generally, he feels content. This is a self-confident man.

Then, one day, new computers arrive into work, and out of the blue, he's not so satisfied. Technology may be a weak spot, but one he mastered when the business was computerized years ago. What will he do now that he's on the bottom rung of the ladder again?

Acknowledge What You Need

While programming and configuration may be way beyond what our friend has to offer, his bigger problem is a lack of confidence. After all, he won't need to know how to program this computer. That's already been done.

Sometimes we make jobs much bigger than they are as a way of diverting attention to our anxiety instead of trying to face our goals. Whenever you try something new, you run the risk of failing. Cut your anxiety down by pinpointing what you really have to do.

Our friend needs to learn how to use the programs on this new computer. That's a big task all by itself. His first job though is figuring out how to turn it on. That's a small job, and by acknowledging that task, and then completing it, he builds his confidence.

Always Think in Baby Steps

Your problem might be very simple. Maybe your teeth are on the darker side of yellow. You think, "My teeth look terrible. I want to make them whiter." What does this entail?

Brushing more, drinking less tea, using bleaching agents that need to be picked up at the pharmacy? That's a lot to accomplish in one fell swoop. If you stumble on one you may just give up on all of them. Break your task into baby steps.

Start with the most manageable task.

For our friend, that was turning on the computer. He looked around at the younger guys, the ones with more computer experience, and saw them pushing the circle in the corner of their keyboards. He did the same and the lights came on. Suddenly this doesn't seem so hard.

The easiest first step for you may be going to the store and buying special toothpaste or a new toothbrush. It may be researching products online. Whatever your first step is, make the celebration of success a focus. Write it down. Get it done. Then cross it out and put a star next to it.

You've started a journey on the road to self-confidence.

When Time is Of the Essence

Experts say it takes 28 days to form a new habit, and even longer to ditch an old one. You don't always have that kind of time to devote to one change, let alone the baby steps. The answer is simple: Don't rely on forming habits.

So many people get caught up in "I've always done it this way," or "I'll never remember." With many tasks, computers included, you don't have to rely on your memory. You can make your own cheat sheet, or use post-it notes. You'll remember a lot just through making mistakes.

When You Fail

At some point, you will devise a plan, break it down into what you think are doable parts, and you'll fail on your first try. It's very tempting at that point to just quit. Your self-confidence is shot. There may be nothing inside you saying, "You can do this."

The only thing left to say is: try again. Failure isn't an end. It's very much part of the process.

Chances are your first bite was too big. I'm reminded of Gayle who said she was starting a sensible, no-stress weight-loss plan ... then declared she'd never drink soda pop again. Did I mention she regularly had about ten cans a day?

Gayle needed major help in this area. After tanking her diet, and bingeing for the next 3 months, she tried again. This time she reserved soda pop only for when she was at home, and switched to flavored water on the job.

Through every step of the process remember that self-confidence embraces positive actions that are also realistic for you.