Retirement Jokes

Retirement Jokes

When the time comes where you will spend the rest of your golden years away from the usual daily routine that your work demands, wouldn't it be nice to have something to brighten your day? Well, there are a lot of things that you can do to occupy your day and to keep from feeling bored. Things like gardening, mending something that has been broken that you haven't paid attention to while you still had your job, and many more. But, one of the things that you can do to let the hours go is read retirement jokes.

From the many retirement jokes you can find over the internet, you'll be surprised how effectively humorous they are. Some of the jokes are even presented in honor to all of those who have worked hard all their lives and to those who didn't do anything at all. If you start reading one of the best retirement jokes, I bet you wouldn't want to stop. I personally have some of the jokes and believe me you will laugh your heart out! To those who are already retired, about to retire, and even baby boomers, you will get a share of laughs from my personally picked retirement jokes. Enjoy reading!

To get more of these retirement jokes, you may visit retirementjoke.com. Here are a couple of retirement jokes that would hopefully make your day.

50/50

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the old man carefully divided the hamburger in half, and then counted the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then, he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set it in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, while his wife sat watching with her hands folded on her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years and everything has always been and will always be shared 50/50.

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "It's his turn with the teeth."


Not Forgetful

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator and I can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich."

The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."

The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have to that problem. Knock on wood." As she rapped her knuckles on the table, she then said, "that must be the door, I'll get it!"